Last week my dietician gave me a whole bunch of different types of salsa, soups, and sauces that I could use as part of my diet, so last Saturday I decided to go pick them up. I knew the best place to get most of the stuff was at Whole Foods Market, a "hippie store," as some people call it. They carry only "organic" or "natural" products, which to me means their products are by and large more expensive and less delicious, and that lots and lots of really unusual people shop there. I really didn't want to go there, but it's a necessary evil with this diet. I knew it was going to be an adventure, and I wasn't disappointed.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was just how crowded it was. It's a huge store, but it was packed with tons of tree-hugging northwestern Americans. I generally try to avoid crowds of people, but I forged ahead anyway. To make matters worse, the aisles are very narrow, and the whole store must have been organized by a schizophrenic six-year-old with ADHD. "I know, we'll put the fruits and veggies here, and we'll put an 'herbal healing center' right in the middle of this aisle, just to make things even more confusing! It'll be awesome!" I had to make two laps around the store before I finally figured out where the sauces and marinades were. I was looking for specific brands and types, so I just walked down the aisle slowly, trying to ignore the hustle and bustle of undernourished vegans behind me. As soon as I found what I was looking for, I'd put it in my hand basket (so glad I didn't actually get a cart). Inevitably someone who'd been eyeing my selection from a couple of sections down would call over, "Oh that dressing is great! You'll love it." Uh-huh. Why don't you people leave me alone? I didn't come here for a conversation - I just want to buy my dressing and get out of here.

I finally managed to find everything I was looking for and headed towards the checkout. The checkout girl was about my age, had some gothic looks going on, and had about as bland an expression on her face as you can imagine. She didn't even speak during the entire transaction - she just pointed to the total and held out her hand for the cash. Strange, but a welcome change from the over-talkative store patrons I'd been dealing with the rest of the time. Just when I thought I could get out and get far, far away, a young guy with hemp jewelry emcompassing his body ran up to me and excitedly said, "You have to tell me where you got your shirt!" I should have known better than to wear my Shirt of Smiting that day. Sigh...

I told him (which was a bit of a chore, since he couldn't understand the concept of buying things online and the name "thinkgeek" simply could not be hammered into his brain. I'm surprised I didn't have to write it down for him...) and tried to get out, but the conversation had been overheard by a couple of people in other checkout lines, so I had to stand there politely while they looked at the text on my shirt and smiled back, pretending they understood the reference, which they obviously didn't. After my brief-but-felt-like-hours stint as a circus animal, I hurried out of the store and sat in my car for a few minutes before finally heading home. I don't care how much I have to pay at a normal store, or even online, to get the stuff I need for my diet - I am never going back to Whole Foods. If you want my idea for a spooky Halloween, just go to your local store and hang out for awhile - you'll be scared out of your mind, trust me.

Anyway, lost another 5.2 pounds during week two, bring my total weight loss to 18.8 pounds over two weeks. I only have about 20 more to go before hitting my first major goal. Oh, and my blood pressure, which was a little high when I started, is now smack dab in the middle of the normal range, so I'm in good shape there. Only 18 more weeks to go...