I am not a true Weezer fan. True Weezer fans know every single word and chord to every song Cuomo's ever written. They worship the ground he walks on, and they long for the day when he'll finally realize that Pinkerton was pure gold and that he should perform the songs from it at concerts. No, I don't fit into that fanatical category, but Weezer is one of the few bands that I have followed fairly closely since I was first introduced to them in middle school, largely due to the viral hummability of Undone (The Sweater Song). I was super-excited when The Green Album was released back in 2001, and was hugely disappointed when it was horrible bubblegum-pop, and a mere 28.4 minutes long. I was somewhat appeased by Maladroit, but by then I had kind of given up.

Thus, I didn't even realize they had a new album until I was on my way to work last week and they were playing bits of the entire album on the radio and making comments about it. I liked a couple of the songs I heard, so I picked it up. Alas, it simply isn't up to snuff.

Part of the problem with releasing a debut album that reeks of pure genius is that you can rarely live up to the expectations you've set. So it is with Weezer. After the Blue Album, there really is nowhere to go but down, I guess. Don't get me wrong... Make Believe is a decent effort. It has the trademark Weezer melodies and simple song structure, and overall it doesn't make you angry when you listen to it - as long as you don't pay too much attention to the lyrics.

Seriously, I have to wonder if Cuomo has finally decided that he's God's gift to songwriting, and doesn't even try anymore. There are several examples of shoddy songwriting in the album, but the absolute worst is in Hold Me, where he sings:

I am
Terrified of all things
Frightened of the dawn
I am
You are
Taller than a mountain
Deeper than the sea
You are

In the words of my friend Alex, "For serious?" I almost puked the first time I heard the verse. The last time I heard "you are taller than a mountain/deeper than the sea," it was at Church in a praise song to God. And frankly, that's where I'd like the analogy to stay. Gag.

There are some redeeming efforts in the album, though mostly musical rather than lyrical. I really like Perfect Situation; it has a nice bouncy feel to it, and the piano-pounding is kind of cool. The lyrics there are dumb though. This Is Such a Pity is also cool, very Cars-esque. Ric Ocasek would be proud. I can't stand We Are All on Drugs, I don't much care for Peace, and the last three songs on the album are largely forgettable. The Damage In Your Heart is OK once it gets to the chorus.

The core issue with this album is that Cuomo constantly talks about how much of a loser he is, how no girls want him, blah blah blah. Now, this is very Emo, as we know, but he doesn't do it in a clever way, like Dashboard Confessional. That makes the sophomoric yearnings of his heart sound all the more contrived.

In the end, I think the best thing about the album is the title. After all, you'll need to make believe this is the same Weezer that brought you Say It Ain't So, Holiday, Pink Triangle, and Tired of Sex.